i’ve long loved spirals. they represent to me an ongoing process of growth that returns, again and again to its origins. lately, i see myself spiraling. not in an out-of-control way (although sometimes it does feel like that!) but in the sense of circling back to a core place, with the same core questions andContinue reading “spiraling”
Author Archives: amy j howton
when all else fails, i turn to gloria
note: as life would have it, i found myself with gloria this morning. inspired by much of what i write below, in a blog post that i JUST NOW rediscovered in my draft box from September 2019. how magical in its poignancy and timing. written by my september 2019 self (and offered by my marchContinue reading “when all else fails, i turn to gloria”
suffering
My heart has been heavy this week. I’ve spent some time considering why. Honestly, I’m not sure, exactly. And I’m learning to be okay with not knowing. I don’t need to understand. I don’t need to try to solve my sadness, or to fix it. In fact, my tendency to want to do this–to getContinue reading “suffering”
warriorship
a year ago i said yes to an invitation that only my soul understood to join with others broken-hearted by the suffering of our world open-hearted to the joy of our world who shared faith in power unleashed through right relationship this year has been one of painful unlearning of letting go of false selvesContinue reading “warriorship”
undone
the past couple of weeks, i’ve come undone. this, i know, is life. over and over again, we become undone. the practicing comes in accepting it, being in it, and not retreating in utter fear. i’m still practicing. the thing is, all that we’ve learned our entire lives tells us otherwise: to hold on tight.Continue reading “undone”
waiting
for the past ten days, my brother and i have accompanied my mom through test after test, appointment after appointment–126 in total. we have been waiting in limbo-land for life and death information. waiting at the intersection of life and death, living takes on a realness that is both heavy and liberating. the heaviness comesContinue reading “waiting”
roy’s song
The piano man drew me in With the sweet lullaby he played as a backdrop To the swift movement of the herds of people. I sat, thankful for this music And it’s transformation of this place and space. The man next to me invited piano man To play Sounds of Silence And with that,Continue reading “roy’s song”
answers
How many times will we be here? Waiting for answers to questions unknowable About life and death and suffering and aliveness Looking to strangers for directions on finding “quality of life” Alongside those we are bound to, through birth or by choice Who in those very moments offer all the answers we need: Continue reading “answers”
on groundlessness
For a long time, I understood “being grounded” as positive. I aspired to “feeling grounded”. For me, it represented a feeling of being solid, sure, connected with a sense of integrity and wholeness. The irony of being grounded is that this groundedness is rooted in groundlessness–a deep understanding that there, in fact, no solid groundContinue reading “on groundlessness”
re-membering
when we truly open our minds and hearts, we become both nothing and everything all at once as we re-member we are part of the whole body of creation. when we experience this re-membering, it is like an old familiar place that lives deep down in our bones, long forgotten: we are but threads inContinue reading “re-membering”
wildroots 